Thursday, April 14, 2011

Do what I say not what I do

So many of you know the journey we are on with Jenna's health and the alternative route we have taken with her health. Her doctor diagnosed her with a candida overgrowth and she is currently undergoing treatment for that along with a very strict anti-candida diet. Basically, that means, no sugar, grains, starches or vinegar. AKA lean protein and veggies and some nuts.

She has really struggled with this, as you can imagine, even though it is only for ten days. Somewhere along the way she must have reasoned that starving herself or only eating a spoonful of almond butter was a good game plan. That, and sneaking bites of donuts at Papa's house or eating a granola bar under her bed. So, yesterday after realizing that she was getting very skinny, I decided to keep her home from school where I could make sure she wasn't cheating and so I could cook for her all day long and force her to eat :)

Of course explaining the reason for her absence to school seemed to be unnecessary so, as we were driving to go pick up Jared's sister I call the Blackburn Office. I tell them Jenna isn't at school today because she has a stomach ache. Promptly after hanging up Jenna says to me, "I don't have a stomach ache!"

So I explain to her that it is easier to say that then to explain about her special diet, not mention the key fact that she is starving herself which could possibly trigger a call to DFS

She then says to me. "So, you just lied?"

Silence. I cannot even think of how to explain that to her. More silence.

Then I just say, "Yea, I guess I did"

So, how is it that I can require and expect my kids to be honest all of the time, no matter what? How can I tell them that is is always better to be honest, when I don't always tell the truth?

Taking it even further, it seems to me that the things I am always getting onto them about are things I do myself. Like yelling, or whining. Or not having any patience. And let me tell you, I am the master of impatience.

So, I figure the best, although imperfect, remedy for this problem is honesty. Ironic much? Seriously though, I just try and tell my kids "You know what, mom isn't perfect. I make mistakes, I do things that are wrong sometimes, and I have a lot of flaws." I explain to them that I want them to be better than I am. I want them to be kinder, and more patient and loving. I want them to have more self control and compassion for other people. I want them to make better choices than I do.

So kids, in short, what I really am trying to say is "do what I say and not what I do!"

Friday, April 1, 2011

Mom Jeans and Minivans

This morning while watching the Today Show they had a segment about dating and their guest was a 27 year old single woman. I couldn't stop staring at her...she looked so...OLD. And then it hit me, I'm 29. Two years OLDER.

This June I turn 30 and once in a while it just catches me off guard and I start to hyperventilate a little. I know 30 isn't really old by any stretch of the imagination. I don't even think 60 is old. But I think the point is that at 30 it's like you automatically are forced to grow up.

Ok, so Jared and I have been married for ten years and I have three kids. Theoretically, I should of become a grown up years ago. But really I have never felt like an adult. I have an obscene obsession with glitter and Gossip Girl, I still shop in the juniors section of any store and to me there is no such thing as too much lip gloss. I'm the girl who wants to learn how to shoot a gun, but it absolutely must be hot pink with rhinestones on the handle. Side note: Jared says that is silly because the bad man will see my gun miles away. I replied, "No, cause odds are I will be wearing a hot pink, glittery shirt so it will blend in"

Getting older doesn't really bother me...being the inappropriate mom with fake boobs and pigtails kind of does. But I realize this is all because I care what people think of me. And when it comes down to either lip gloss and VS PINK hoodies or mom jeans and minivans ..well, inappropriate it is!