Today I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Anyone who knows me, must realize I am a complete bipolar insane woman, and these past few weeks have just been stifling.
It's hot...and my kids have lost their damn minds...and I had a dream that I beat my daughter with a hanger. I woke up covered in sweat and tears and prayed to Jesus that I wasn't seeing a glimpse into my future self.
I thought maybe if I wrote about it, I would feel better. It's yet to see if I am right.
All my life I've heard that when you are in heaven, before you are born, you get to pick your parents.
There is no way that is true. My kids would of never, ever picked me. Of that I am confident. And I'm not just saying that so people will say "no, you are a good mom...blah blah blah." I am trying to be brutally honest.
I felt bad for them today, for having me as a mom, so I took them out to lunch and let them act like lunatics with hyper active disorder in the restaurant and I didn't say a word to them...then I bought them ice cream and clothes. Maybe that makes up for it all...but probably not.
This whole blog sounds insufferable and ridiculous...good Lord I need a vacation.
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