Three's Company

Ok, Jami just posted a really interesting blog about her thoughts (well, someone else's thoughts that echoed her own) on whether or not to have three kids. here it is:

http://0812lane.blogspot.com/2011/08/maybe-someday-maybe.html.


It inspired a response. First and foremost, if Bella is anywhere near as sweet as Ava is, which I am sure she is and there is a possibility for this world to have three Ava's, I say "Go for it, Jami!" BTW, I adore Ava almost more than my own kids :)

But as someone with three and someone who always planned on three, here are my thoughts.

A few Pro's - I have three AMAZING and completely UNIQUE kids, so I think I get the best of ALL worlds as far as kids are concerned. I have the alpha male, perfectionist, all star genius kid who I can totally brag about all the time. I have the sweetest, most sensitive, kind and creative kid who at most times trumps my perfectionist all star when he does things like set up a shop to sell all his toys so he can give homeless people money. Then I have the precious princess with the biggest heart and sweetest smiles and hugs, but doesn't let anybody push her around. I absolutely love being surrounded by such different personalities all the time. (Well, at least most of the time)

There is always more than one of them around, so it's easy for them to entertain themselves, and they all have these really great, different relationships with each other, and that's fun to watch. Because there is three, it seems somehow easier to feel like I still have a "baby", since there are SO many milestones between Austin and Jenna.

A Few Con's - Sweet baby Jesus, it is EXPENSIVE! I just spent over $1000 on school clothes/supplies for the three of them. They fight...A lot. It's harder to get rid of three at the same time when you want a date night...or a nap. Sometimes, it's obvious they outnumber you 3 to 2, and they use that against you. When you have three unique kids, you also have unique problems and personality clashes.

Sometimes when I want to get in my car and drive away I wonder if Cameron had been a girl, if we would have stopped. Then I wonder what that would be like...having only two. How much calmer and quieter life would be. Then, of course, I realize that it would really suck not having them all. It would be a sadder, darker, colder world without my three little balls of fire and how would I ever have known that if I hadn't had three :)

A Decree

I am a little out of my mind and ready for school to start...today I wrote this decree to my kids. I'm sure they will completely ignore it, but I made myself laugh. I have every intention of posting it on my door on a large piece of hot pink poster board.

"Dear precious babies that I love more than anything in this whole world,

Please read the following in your best British accent-

Hear Ye Hear Ye!
Please comply with the following request. Failure to do so may result in bodily injury.

If you come looking for me and find this door closed, it is in your best interest to RUN AWAY...If you need immediate assistance please go and find A) Your Father, B) A non-creepy neighbor or C) the X-box.
The only expection to this rule is if you are bleeding to death or something is on fire and you are pretty sure you can't put it out on your own.

If this door is open, please feel free to bombard me with all your woes and/or shenanigans, including but not limited to- tattling on A) Jenna for karate chopping your face, B) Cameron for jumping off of the sofa and hanging from the ceiling fan or C) Austin for referring to you as a "dramatic weiner"

I appreciate your comlpiance with the above and love you to infinity.
Mom"

I am confident that this will most likely result in lots of banging and kicking of my door coupled with much wailing and gnashing of teeth. 

Or maybe they will give me five minutes to myself :)

No Wire Hangers!

Today I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Anyone who knows me, must realize I am a complete bipolar insane woman, and these past few weeks have just been stifling.

It's hot...and my kids have lost their damn minds...and I had a dream that I beat my daughter with a hanger. I woke up covered in sweat and tears and prayed to Jesus that I wasn't seeing a glimpse into my future self.

I thought maybe if I wrote about it, I would feel better. It's yet to see if I am right.

All my life I've heard that when you are in heaven, before you are born, you get to pick your parents.

There is no way that is true. My kids would of never, ever picked me. Of that I am confident. And I'm not just saying that so people will say "no, you are a good mom...blah blah blah." I am trying to be brutally honest. 

I felt bad for them today, for having me as a mom, so I took them out to lunch and let them act like lunatics with hyper active disorder in the restaurant and I didn't say a word to them...then I bought them ice cream and clothes.  Maybe that makes up for it all...but probably not.

This whole blog sounds insufferable and ridiculous...good Lord I need a vacation.

Take a look, it's in a book...

It's reading rainbooowwww...

Already, I digress. But I know without a doubt that Jordy Laforge (ten points for knowing that reference) would recommend my new favortite book as well.

Please do yourself a favor and immediately purchase and read "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett. I started reading this book Friday night about 10 pm and read until I could no longer keep my eyes open.  Then I woke up on Saturday, opened some yogurt for my kids and went right back to reading, until I finished.

It's raw, and true, and poignant and funny and warm and Southern (which is always my favorite attribute).

And if that wasn't enough, they've made a movie. I will most deifinitely be paying for the excruciatingly over priced movie ticket to see it opening weekend :) LOVE the cast!

For Susan

I haven't blogged in a while...been so busy. But I have to take the time to remember Susan today.

I met Jackie on New Years eve when I was sixteen. From the instant we started talking, we never really seemed to stop. She is to this day one of my very best friends.

I met Susan not long after when I went to spend the night with Jackie. I loved her like a mom from the very start.She was so very full of love. She was always smiling, and always ready with a warm and gentle hug. I spent a lot of time at the Mauck's in my teenage years, and Susan was always there with us, listening to our silly conversations, always ready with her innate and infinite wisdom.

Susan was one of the few people who did not pass judgement when I became pregnant at the age of 17. Her opinion of me did not change, she loved me just the same. She even went out of her way to give me a small job that summer. She will never know the power her love has had in my life as I'm sure it is the same for so many of you.

Her faithfulness was an inspiration. I have truly never known anyone to radiate the love of Jesus Christ like Susan. She was so special and amazing, and I fail her with my words. There is no doubt in my mind that our Lord has welcomed her with open arms into His kingdom, and I can only patiently wait until I get to see her again.

Even though life changed, as it does, and I saw less of Susan as the years went on, I remained close to her. The last time I saw her was at the hospital when Susanna was born. She was so full of joy, and I got to hug her and spend a few minute with her. She was like a mother to me, and I am so very grateful that she took the time to leave her everlasting, and everloving impression in my life. Thank you Lord for allowing our paths to cross.

My heart is broken for her beautiful family, and for this whole wide world. We have lost a bright and beautiful soul and there is none that can take her place.

Susan, til we meet again, I love you :)

Do what I say not what I do

So many of you know the journey we are on with Jenna's health and the alternative route we have taken with her health. Her doctor diagnosed her with a candida overgrowth and she is currently undergoing treatment for that along with a very strict anti-candida diet. Basically, that means, no sugar, grains, starches or vinegar. AKA lean protein and veggies and some nuts.

She has really struggled with this, as you can imagine, even though it is only for ten days. Somewhere along the way she must have reasoned that starving herself or only eating a spoonful of almond butter was a good game plan. That, and sneaking bites of donuts at Papa's house or eating a granola bar under her bed. So, yesterday after realizing that she was getting very skinny, I decided to keep her home from school where I could make sure she wasn't cheating and so I could cook for her all day long and force her to eat :)

Of course explaining the reason for her absence to school seemed to be unnecessary so, as we were driving to go pick up Jared's sister I call the Blackburn Office. I tell them Jenna isn't at school today because she has a stomach ache. Promptly after hanging up Jenna says to me, "I don't have a stomach ache!"

So I explain to her that it is easier to say that then to explain about her special diet, not mention the key fact that she is starving herself which could possibly trigger a call to DFS

She then says to me. "So, you just lied?"

Silence. I cannot even think of how to explain that to her. More silence.

Then I just say, "Yea, I guess I did"

So, how is it that I can require and expect my kids to be honest all of the time, no matter what? How can I tell them that is is always better to be honest, when I don't always tell the truth?

Taking it even further, it seems to me that the things I am always getting onto them about are things I do myself. Like yelling, or whining. Or not having any patience. And let me tell you, I am the master of impatience.

So, I figure the best, although imperfect, remedy for this problem is honesty. Ironic much? Seriously though, I just try and tell my kids "You know what, mom isn't perfect. I make mistakes, I do things that are wrong sometimes, and I have a lot of flaws." I explain to them that I want them to be better than I am. I want them to be kinder, and more patient and loving. I want them to have more self control and compassion for other people. I want them to make better choices than I do.

So kids, in short, what I really am trying to say is "do what I say and not what I do!"

Mom Jeans and Minivans

This morning while watching the Today Show they had a segment about dating and their guest was a 27 year old single woman. I couldn't stop staring at her...she looked so...OLD. And then it hit me, I'm 29. Two years OLDER.

This June I turn 30 and once in a while it just catches me off guard and I start to hyperventilate a little. I know 30 isn't really old by any stretch of the imagination. I don't even think 60 is old. But I think the point is that at 30 it's like you automatically are forced to grow up.

Ok, so Jared and I have been married for ten years and I have three kids. Theoretically, I should of become a grown up years ago. But really I have never felt like an adult. I have an obscene obsession with glitter and Gossip Girl, I still shop in the juniors section of any store and to me there is no such thing as too much lip gloss. I'm the girl who wants to learn how to shoot a gun, but it absolutely must be hot pink with rhinestones on the handle. Side note: Jared says that is silly because the bad man will see my gun miles away. I replied, "No, cause odds are I will be wearing a hot pink, glittery shirt so it will blend in"

Getting older doesn't really bother me...being the inappropriate mom with fake boobs and pigtails kind of does. But I realize this is all because I care what people think of me. And when it comes down to either lip gloss and VS PINK hoodies or mom jeans and minivans ..well, inappropriate it is!